I’ve realized that I haven’t been on my blog updating away on what’s going on around me. It’s strange – a little over one year ago I created this blog for my transition to the UK for the pursuit of my Master’s degree, and it was really developed with the storyline of ‘Sharing my year with you’. But now that that year as met his finality, another year begins and it’s another one of transitions, challenges, and change. Thus, I have yet to terminate this blog and instead will most likely continue it with everything yet to come, because each year will have challenges and projects and pursuits, and I don’t think my ‘year’ of challenges is a theme yet expired. So blog away, I must. 🙂
In all honesty, I am extremely stressed and anxious. This past month has been unexpectedly anxiety-ridden for me with so many questions weighing down on my shoulders. Up until now I have always been ‘contracted’ to a plan – school. I have the date of my first day of classes, and a schedule of day-to-day tasks to complete towards my course work. And now, in a world of no such contract, my world is wide opened and yet even more confined. I need money. I would like to know that I will see my partner on a regular basis. I want to fully unpack my suitcase and store it away for further travels rather than having it in the corner ready to be re-packed again with all of my belongings. These are such little things, however they weigh so heavily at times. I want to put more attention towards life rather than plotting for convenience. I want and need a firm base so that all of the other chaos that I seek after can happen. I need a firm location where my belongings reside, where I can collapse after a long day and chill, and work on ideas I’m developing for upcoming art concepts. And I need to travel, to explore on my own terms again. I’m a bit lost right now, feeling torn in every possible direction. I feel like I’m in a transition of adulthood – yes I have debt, yes I’m in a long distance relationship, yes my family lives all over the world and I worry about how often I can see them, and yes I’m worried about finances, commitment, career, and happiness. I work harder than what people give me credit for, but still not as hard as I could be working and so there’s a lot more ahead of me.
Anyways, that’s what I’m sitting on lately. I am one of the most determined yet stubborn people out there. And I don’t have easy routes with easy decisions.. I take swirving routes with face-palm decisions 🙂
For now, however, I’m going to enjoy sitting on this couch under this blanket 🙂
Until next time,
Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo