Long time no write, eh? Apologies, but I’ve been conflicted as to what to write about as of late because it seems as though my topic of choice changes like THAT [I like to think that whoever reads this snaps on my behalf]. Any one day I’m either feeling the flurry of emotions that comes with life – relationships, logistics, employment hunts, living situations, etc. And so I’ve refrained from ‘venting’ out when I’ve needed to, because I quickly realized that by the next day, I would have apologized for such a vent as I believe my emotions are running high these days. I get very flustered when I don’t have a plan of action, and I tend to take out my anxiety on every possible ‘problem’ or issue that I’m dealing with.
I write to you today from Canada-land, my lovely country of maple syrup and loonies (the currency, not the people). I wish I could sum up what my mind has had to deal with during the past few weeks, but it’s a long tale of whines and pitiful sighs, so I’ll save you all from enduring such pathetic rants. Bluntly, however, I am now searching for a job in Canada and simultaneously hoping to find somewhere to live. I want both NOW [just like the wish of people snapping, I hope someone out there beat there fist down on a surface within reaching distance to them]. I am desperate to feel ‘at home’ and at the start of something new. I want to get things going here for financial reasons, comfort of knowing I have a settled space, and so that I can transition into this all again. It was lovely spending some weeks down in Indianapolis this past month, although the knowledge that nothing awaited me as I departed made my tum-tum rumble with anxiety. If debt didn’t exist in my life, then I would be much more at ease. Such is not the case, and such is not life, and so I must adjust. I just hate waiting for the adjustment to begin. I’m in limbo right now, and I hate it. Greatly. I’m sure we’ve all been through a stale point in our life, and mine is only just beginning as I only just received my confirmed Master’s Degree (with Merit might I add, one lower than Distinction which I’ll leave to those who have studied the material before) a few weeks ago. I’ve moved from England – I’ve done big things over the past few months. But I’m ready for something more steady now. Give me a job, and give me a home.
I tried to make that as whine-less as possible, but I suppose I still ended up demanding the luxuries of life… I am human, afterall 🙂 Right now my brain is full of new ideas, new thoughts, new plans. For the future- ya know, something to look forward to. But for now, slumber.
Night night, sleep tight, dream of lovely things tonight. xo
Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo