My Heart // Our Story


To You,

It doesn’t take much. A quick thought; a small memory; a reminder of where I’m from. It doesn’t take much for me to feel every emotion rush to my eyes that then smile with pride, while tearing up over lost time. Every memory leads to a story over someone truly wonderful and giving and wise.

No one person is perfect, that’s just not a thing. But he shined in his imperfections like every star that fills the night sky. He was and is my star, and even though he’s gone, he’s never left me or my family behind. The pride I have over his name, his voice, his fight and his smile is what solidifies my strength, my kindness, my mind and my story. He held tradition high, yet could step back to make criticism over the wrong doing of a country. He may have missed many family dinners, but he was busy working three jobs to spread food amongst all the tables. He may have broken my heart the day he didn’t come home, but he’s helped it grow every day since he passed.

In a time where people are hateful towards fellow humans; judgmental over skin color or gender or love choices; and ignorant towards refugees, immigrants, and minorities — All I can say is that my father was an Asian man; He was stateless at one point and an immigrant a few times over; He washed dishes throughout med school and helped so many when needed. My father epitomizes what so many are fearful of, and that carries on in me and my siblings. He was my father on earth and my angel since June 8, 1992. And so every year I re-introduce my father to you, because his story is ongoing and we’ll never let it stop.

Dad – as with every day that passes, I love and miss you, now and always xoxo

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

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1992


To You,

Twenty-five years ago my father left this earth leaving behind more life and influence than can possibly be comprehended. I didn’t know then, but my father was soon to be the dream I forever chased throughout this world to continue his story of a life lived. Twenty-five years is a long time. Seven years is not in comparison to the extent that a human has the capability to live. I was 7 when my dad passed, and yet his stories have made it so that I’ve come to know him through every year of his shortened life.

He passed 25 years ago, and yet his life has extended a quarter century past his last breath. I have said so much about my father over these past years, and I don’t think I will ever be able to tell the story of his life to the extent that it is felt within my brother, sister, and I. He had his fears, and his faults; he was a specimen of health and strength, and although cancer and progressive illness took him away with a sweeping attack, it did not end his life and as such, his battle was never lost.

You see, he still lives in every story we tell, and in the many stories we have yet to write. Our life is not just ours to live, and when we live with the beauty and truth that my father’s life effervesced, our own chapters are then engraved onto every soul we choose to love. Twenty-five years ago we thought his life was over. But little did he know that his life was the perfect beginning to many more stories to come. And man, have we got some stories to tell.

Dad – as always – this one’s for you.

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Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

 

 

 

All the love to the Mamas


Yeah this one right here goes out to all the baby’s mamas, mamas
Mamas, mamas, baby mamas, mamas“…

To You,

A short little somethin’ somethin’ to wish all the mamas out there a Happy & Wonderful Mother’s Day! For all of you who mother, provide care, take care, and nurture – this day is for you, and we thank you ๐Ÿ™‚

And to my mama, the legend that she is – I’ll never know how you raised three out-of-the-box children to adulthood and beyond, and not one of us has been incarcerated to this day… it’s truly a miracle. You let us be us (whether that was best for society or not), and kept us polite, responsible, and appreciative. The only mistake you made was making us fearless, and that’s how you ended up with all three of us living in different continents, pursuing lives worth living and stories worth telling ๐Ÿ˜‰

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My ma proved that there is no excuse for laziness, no excuse for not being there for your family, and zero excuses for giving up. To us, everyday is mother’s day because she’s not stopped once to give us everything we could possibly need to survive our stories. …Including sending me side cash for my cheese fund – like I said, she gets what the real necessities in life are.

So to my Ma – Happy Mother’s Day! And enjoy your adventures in Australia ๐Ÿ™‚

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

Australia Post One: Time Out


To You,

I’ve decided to refrain from making any ongoing promises about the consistency of my posts. Because, let’s be honest, I’m sucking at it.

But to err on the side of sounding negative – here I am! Success! Brava to me!!

In February of this year my husband and I finally hopped on a plane to visit my brother and his girlfriend in Perth, Australia for an amazing two weeks. We flew into Brisbane for one night before jumping over to the WA where we stayed with them in their home a mere few blocks from the Indian Ocean.

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[It’s okay. Take a moment to hate them for a moment. It happens.]

It’s needless to say how beautiful Australia is, but it does require reminding on how beautiful life can be over there. Just the idea of breathing in that fresh sea-salt air; feeling that golden sun on your well-sunscreened skin; drinking cup after cup of top-notch coffee. Every evening I became exhausted around 9:00PM, and sure I can blame some of that on the ridiculous jet-lag I suffered, but for the most part my body and mind finally let go of all my worries and uneasy anxiety that I hold onto daily. My brain would just melt down and my body would follow suit. And I rested. My soul just rested. And although this sounds lame and like death, it was quite the opposite. It was a moment for the death of the monotony to escape, and a breath for life to make its way back in.

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The trip reminded me that I need to find my peace in where ever it is that I’m situated. I’m a free bird, and being settled in one location is a very hard notion for me to comprehend. But that doesn’t mean that I have to give in. So no more giving in. I may not live on the Indian Ocean (Damn my brother!), but there’s still a beautiful life to live.

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There will be more posts to follow (who knows when) with more photos and write-ups pertaining to our trip to Oz. You can also check out more on my website, www.VLSon.com/work.

But for now, I’m going to take my own medicine as I head into the weekend. Time to take a breath. And keep on keepin’ on.

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

Departure Zone B


engagement

Three years ago.
A weekend in Chicago.
A marathon run.
Loud restaurants and big crowds.
A lost debit card.
Tourists at the galleries.

Bus rides to Indy.
Foiled plans.
A closed museum.
A long ride to the airport.

One plane ticket home.
A ring in a pocket.
The departure lounge of an airport.
A proposal.
A ‘Yes’.
A missed flight home.

Me + You on our immigration journey Home.

xo

Home Movies


To You,

The father of one of my best mates captured some video footage of our wedding ceremony back in April 2016. A few months later we received the homemade video clips on a couple CDs in the mail, and I clipped them together to make a wee home movie of our memorable day with music from my processional playing over the background noise.

It ain’t nothing fancy, but it’s just as sweet and true as any other wedding movie.

So please, take a few minutes to enjoy how we and a few family and friends spent a lovely Sunday in April.

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

4.17.2016


To You,

On April 17, 2016, Patrick and I renewed our vows in a wedding and post-immigration celebration in front of our family and friends. We originally married on February 13, 2014 which commenced a whirlwind of immigration processing, and so this year we were finally able to round up the troops to celebrate in proper fashion.

With 52 of our closest family and friends who were able to attend, we held a ceremony and reception at the Strongwater Food & Spirits in Columbus, OH. We had guests travel in from the Midwest, East coast, West coast, Canada, England, and Australia for the occasion and I could not feel more blessed by the love and support of these few. To have my family in attendance was more than wonderful. To see my childhood friends in attendance was wonderful. To see my support group from my old workplace in attendance was wonderful.

There were many tears, lots of laughs, and good memories all around. And here are some pics that we’re finally able to share ๐Ÿ™‚

Thank you to everyone,

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

Photographer: David Morris, Indianapolis
Dress: Vera Wang White Collection purchased off TradesyVeil: Melinda Rose Designs, Made in the USA
Groom’s Suit: Custom design from Surmesur in Toronto
Bridesmaids’ Suits: Custom design from Surmesur in Toronto
Shoes: My mother’s wedding shoes
Jewelry: Family jewels lent my by family
Venue: Strongwater Food & Spirits in Columbus, OH
Flowers: Rose and Bredl in Columbus, OH
Hair & Make-up: Stylists from The Salon and Salon You in Belleville, ON

1,348 days worth raising your glass to


To You,

Time goes by pretty fast when you’re having fun. Or so I’ve heard. Apparently, it can also go by pretty fast when you’re asking yourself “what the hell am I doing here” nearly everyday for a few months, followed by another few months of, “I cannot believe I moved here..”, to “how did we make it this long apart?” So, to each their own, you know.. time passes in happiness and misery.

[What a useless life motto, eh?]

..But, in the end, we are here. And I did move here. And we did somehow make it this long apart.

One thousand three hundred and forty eight days.

I started dating Patrick in June 2011. We were together nearly everyday from then until September 2011 when I moved to England for my postgraduate studies. And we didn’t live in the same country until those 1,348 days later.

[My well spoken husband just chimed in with, “Yeah! F*ck you, cheaters!” He’s sweet like that. And committed. And does not take kindly to anyone who uses long distance as an excuse for their infidelities.]

Today marks one year since I was legally able to immigrate and move to the United States (seriously – I still have to look at this handsome bloke’s face beside me to remind myself why sometimes). It has been a difficult year for me (sometimes, his pretty face doesn’t do it… that’s when I remind myself that airports still exist to take me places away from here). We were married nearly 1.5 years before we moved in together for the first time, and that in itself is amazingly euphoric. Like, euphoric as in when you take some hallucinogens, and everything is sparkly and floaty and bright, and then the walls start caving in and zombies are taking over the neighborhood and have already claimed your right leg as their own. (My husband just reminded me that I can’t speak from experience. But I’ve had some gnarly cold medicine before.. and ooo boy lemme tell you stories!….)

Long story short, I cannot put our relationship into words. I cannot rationalize our time spent apart. I will never be able to explain the pain and stress and complete exhaustion we endured to get here. People who know me know that I do not take marriage lightly. I don’t take relationships lightly. And when I left Patrick in Chicago O’Hare Airport in 2011, I did not say good-bye lightly.

In reality, we are not meant to be. We’re not “soul mates”. We did not promise to make this work, no matter how long it took. We took each day just as that – day by day. And each day that we built upon a strong foundation of trust, we committed to each other that much more.ย  It was hell. It’s still not easy. But, as my husband gives me a bouquet of flowers and simply states “I’m glad you’re here”, it reminds me that we have come a long way. Only few can appreciate this. But they’re a good few. ๐Ÿ™‚

Thanks for having me, babe.

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

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2011, Chicago O’Hare

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June 2012, London, UK

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February 2014, USA

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February 2014, USA

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May 31, 2015 – U.S. Border

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April 17, 2016 – USA

Why, hello there!


To You,

This would be so much better if I had some thought-provoking, influential words to re-introduce these writings to you. Like, Adele lyrics-good. Or something to the extent of a Ghandi speech; a robust collective of sentimental sentences to make your eyeballs shed those salty tears.

But I don’t. I’ve been off for around 7 months, and honestly, I hadn’t realized it had been that long! There’s been so much chaos.. of mundane events.. crazy dullness.. like, insane day-to-day happenings. Basically, I’ve been learning how to have a day-to-day relationship with my husband, and oddly enough, it’s been exhausting. We’ve been so used the ridiculous situation we were in for 4 years of long distance, and now that we’re in one homely abode, we’ve been trying to adjust to the normalcy. Dinners together. Drives to work. Grocery shopping. So, although for us it’s been nuts, emotional, and overwhelming, for you it would have been stories on the craziness of cooking up some leftovers together. And staying in watching an episode of Making a Murderer on Netflix. (Okay, to be honest, it may have been like 4-6 episodes in one sitting..Yeah.)

I’ll be re-capping on what we’ve been through, creative projects we’re working on, and all the other weird stories on what it’s like to move in with your spouse after being married for 18 months.

But today – it was time to come back, because yesterday was our 2-year wedding anniversary. And remembering what we have been through together, and still realizing that there are few people who really understand what we’ve been through, I got that itch. Not like an uncomfortable itch that requires an ointment or anything – I’m not here to get that personal with you folks. But that itch to get back to writing. We have Part II of our wedding coming up in a couple of months where close friends and family have been invited to celebrate our journey, and come together for us to thank them personally for being there for us, and supporting us through what has been scientifically proven to cause complete insanity, and be diagnosed as a case of plain stupidity. But yesterday, we celebrated our wedding anniversary together which we were not able to do last year due to immigration processing. And so here I am, remembering how this blog came into fruition over 4 years ago.

There are no words that really sum up how yesterday felt. We’ve had a couple of truly rough months which are smoothing out gradually, and yesterday emphasized the amount of work we have put into this relationship, and how hard it has been. No amount of trust, respect, admiration, support, and love has been spared throughout our relationship. We have invested our life into each other these past four years, something we don’t recommend to others to do ever, but something we will never regret nor take for granted.

So I’ll leave this here with some lovely photos to cheese this shit up some more ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’ll be back, keeping this blog thing up again. No more slacking for this lass!

Lots of love,

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

Everybody needs a little sunshine in their life. And Corgis. Sunshine and corgis.


To You,

My Mr. Husband-Face and Corgi-child Emma Bear made an unexpected trip up to Canada to support me through some unexpected stress surrounding immigration last week. I will follow-up with a post regarding the unbelievable stress we endured and conquered during that week, but for now some photos I snapped with my dad’s 35mm Chinon from our well-needed hike through the Little Bluff Conservation Area in Picton, Ontario.

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Beautiful day for a hike, chip trucks, and good ol’ fashioned fresh air.

Peace,

Lots of love, Vic Louise xoxoxo

Response to Senate Bill 101 (the Religious Freedom Restoration Act) Being Signed into Law today in the state of Indiana


Indiana Governor Mike Pence signed into law the Religious Freedom Restoration Act in the state of Indiana today, which has resulted in many people crying out in anger, frustration, and disgust.

I am in the midst of moving to Indiana to where my husband and his family reside, and although I continue to be disappointed by not only my own bigoted experiences from when Iย lived in Indiana, but now the open allowance for equality and recognition for all citizens to be legally ignored, I encourage people to not look to abandon the state, but continue to fight for what is being taken away from them – their rights to equality. Fight it with intelligence. Fight it with knowledge. Fight it with your hearts. Fight it with legitimate respect for those being discriminated against, and not immature rebuttal of obnoxious acts and words which will only bring further disrespect to the argument. Do not fight with hate, do not fight with ignorance.ย 

This is not Republicans versus Democrats – not all Republicans agree, although perhaps the majority did. This bill will only bring light to businesses who choose to open their doors and their cash registers to those fitting within a small hole of uneducated bigots. This is not a Christian bill, a religious bill, nor a Conservative bill, but merely a bill of asinine proportions belonging to those who feel the need to have their hateful discriminations validated.

Governor Pence declared that there was nothing discriminatory about this bill, and that it merely supports the religious rights and beliefs of Indiana residents. Human Rights law already does so, however without isolating the category of rights needing protected, because there are no such categories when it comes to believing in rights for ALL. Just because one cannot take you to court for refusing service to a kind of individual does not protect your revenue.

I am more than disappointed in Indiana’s government, but I am proud of my friends and family and all those who reside in that state – my future home state – who will and are putting their foot down and raising their voices to illuminate the desire for equality, for respect, and for social justice. And to those politicians who signed the bill – your job was and is to protect each and every one of your citizens, and you have adamantly failed in signing such an atrocity of a bill; you have protected a singular few, and abandoned thousands more.

โ€œLet me have my tax money go for my protection and not for my prosecution. Let my tax money go for the protection of me. Protect my home, protect my streets, protect my car, protect my life, protect my property…worry about becoming a human being and not about how you can prevent others from enjoying their lives because of your own inability to adjust to life.โ€ -Harvey Milk

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

First Year


One year momento. I photographed my ring with my dress. xo

ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  ย  One year momento. I photographed my ring with my dress. xo

To You,

I’m not a huge birthday person – I don’t get excited for my birthday, and truly haven’t celebrated it in quite a few years. Other people’s birthdays I excite over, but never really my own (although my husband wishes to change this for me).

But today, I am excited. I have been giddy all week looking like a crazy person experiencing drug induced euphoria! Today is my one year wedding anniversary! One year ago I went to Indianapolis with mostly family and a couple co-workers knowing that I was eloping and marrying my most favorite of people ๐Ÿ™‚

I have been emotional and down these past few weeks knowing that my beloved husband-face and I would not be able to see each other for our first anniversary as a married couple, but over the past few days I am just elated to say that I have been married to this amazing, studly, inspiring, super-awesome-cool-dude of a husband, Mr. Husband-Face for one year. It has been one of the hardest years – mentally and emotionally – with going through immigration and marriage apart. But today we can celebrate our achievements as a couple. I am so privileged to know this man, to call him my best friend and to forever call him my husband.

Happy Anniversary to Us! We have fought hard through this past year – and that deserves a few smiles ๐Ÿ™‚

Much love,

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

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Flowers from my husband-face.

Flowers from my husband-face.

2014: The Year of Commitment, Change, Challenge, and Corgis (but really – what year isn’t the year of Corgis, right?)


To You,

2014 was hard. It was lovely, and it was challenging, and it was hard. 2014 for me was the beginning of truly realizing the value and the triumph of commitment, love, and relationships. It was a year where I’ve begun to realize that perhaps my personal relationships with friends – new and old – went to the wayside a little bit, but only due to the true commitment I chose to put towards my first year of marriage, a long-distanced marriage. I’ve lost consistent touch with some, but my husband and I have been through so much together these past few years of being a couple, and now together in marriage I had to choose to put all I possibly could into getting through this year of immigration with him. They say the first year is the hardest – but it’s not, really if you ask me. Every year from here on out we will have to choose how much we wish to commit to our lives together, not just in the first. Our first year of being married I will say is the toughest as it sits in its own category of having to endure our first year completely apart without knowing how long this process of me moving to the U.S to be with my husband and step-daughter will take. But if nothing else, 2014 was the year I chose to commit to my husband, dedicate all my time into building a long-distance however solid relationship with my step-daughter, and pushing myself to figure out how to be a solid wife to my husband from afar. I want this year to be over, but not because I don’t value all that its challenged me with and taught me along the way, but because 2014 was battled through only to commence a triumphant 2015 with my husband.

So, cheers to you and yours this New Year’s Eve! I hope the culmination of 2014 brings many learned lessons to your growth, and that 2015 only makes you stronger.

Much Love to you all!

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo new years 2014fb3fb6fb9IMG_9811_Small163Small_Indy201420140614_130542rain3Thanksgiving2014_6_webThanksgiving2014_15_webIndyOct2014-6_small47dec2014

A gorgeous book from my husband. Arrow through the heart, indeed.

A gorgeous book from my husband. Arrow through the heart, indeed.

A little box filled with things of "home" sent from Idaho - from her home, my future home, and my ancestral home.

A little box filled with things of “home” sent from Idaho – from her home, my future home, and my ancestral home.

xoxo

Christmas Day 2014: FaceTime, Family, and Drugged-Up Unconsciousness.


To You,

I hope everyone is feeling somewhat rested and de-bloated following holiday festivities of lounging in your PJ’s, stuffing your faces with dish upon dish, and enjoying exhausting enjoyable catch-ups with family members near and far. This year was a bit of a dooze.. not because of the people I spent it with, but more so because I took a Robax muscle relaxant in the morning due to a three-day ongoing headache and neck stiffness, and apparently my stomach was just empty enough for it to hit the bottom of my tum, and knock me out on and off throughout the entire day. So I slept, woke up in time to watch the first NBA Christmas Day match of the day, eat dinner, fall asleep for another two hours, wake up again to accompany my sister to the GO train station in Oshawa, drive back, and fall asleep again in the late evening. I kind of screwed that one up.

My day was a little sore, with me missing my husband terribly. I miss him so, so much I honestly cannot express into words as to how much I miss his presence. We scheduled a rendez-vous on FaceTime in the morning so that myself, my mum, and sister could watch my step-daughter open her gifts from the Canucks, and so my husband could be there to see my mum and sister open their gifts from him. It was great that we could at least arrange that. The day carried out there-on afterwards with a Skype session with my brother and his gal pal in Australia, and then the muscle relaxants took effect.. was not pretty. My mum gave out her packed up stockings which contained the traditional goods – chocolate dollars, toothbrushes, little gift cards, and little other tidbits. I opened mine enthusiastically, yet horizontally.

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My yearly gold-wrapped chocolate dollars. Thanks ma/Santa.

In the afternoon, the family tradition of watching the NBA Christmas Day pair-ups commenced, although it was a little uneventful as the only games our TV package allowed us to watch were not as eventful as years past. Oh well. Food, however, is always the peak of the day, sitting at the table eating an English roast dinner of beef, veggies, Yorkshire puddings, and English trifle desserts. Always so damn yum. In the early evening my sister was headed back to Toronto, and so we all drove her to the GO train station in Oshawa (a good hour away)… my sister drove my car there to give me time to drink more caffeine and normalize my alertness, we dropped her off and I drove home. I was due to work bright and early on Boxing Day, and so I headed back to my flat in the evening to then FaceTime with my husband-face so that we could open our gifts with each other. As usual, we kept it small and personal. It’s those gifts I cherish around the holidays. My husband knows me more than anyone, and so I know his little gifts for me will be sweet and thoughtful. I was also surprised with a little package on Christmas Eve from Idaho from another dear friend packed with a lovely mix of homely tidbits.

A little box filled with things of "home" sent from Idaho - from her home, my future home, and my ancestral home.

A little box filled with things of “home” sent from Idaho – from her home, my future home, and my ancestral home.

A gorgeous book from my husband. Arrow through the heart, indeed.

A gorgeous book from my husband. Arrow through the heart, indeed.

So yes, that was my Christmas Day. New Year’s is approaching, and I will post a typical, expected reflection post in the days to come… but for now, Christmas Day was simple, yet sweet. I’m lucky to be able to spend it every year with family, and next year I look forward to experiencing the little moment of simplicity in person with my husband. I know I’ll always be away from someone in my family, and that truly sucks, but I know time is needed and due for me and my husband-face.

Much love,

Love from, Vic Louise

Thanks For Listening, Babe


To You,

The people that listen to you are the people you need to keep around. And it’s not just about hearing you, but understanding and responding to what it is that you say. Nowadays people listen, engage, and disperse, never really absorbing the words that flow from your chords… but when someone does – let your heart and head appreciate those individuals. I’ve had some rough days dealing with immigration woes and difficulties surrounding the limitations this situation deals me, and I’m in need of a friend, my best friend, to be there for me. He always is, never a doubt, but this past week he demonstrated the ideals of what a best friend and partner should be. What we should all attain to be – as a wife, what I always work hard to be.

On Sunday of last week, my husband surprised me by showing up to my workplace with a coffee in hand and my insanely missed Corgi in tow. Not only did I desperately need a coffee, but my husband as well ๐Ÿ˜‰ He surprised me by planning a trip up here for 5 days, and it was the happiest I had been in a long time. I’ve needed his company so badly these past few months, having many miserable nights unable to sleep, unable to deal with silly immigration stress. And there he was, a huge smile on his face and a coffee in hand, here to hang out with his wife for a few days. Amazeballs.

It’s been hard this holiday season knowing I wouldn’t be seeing him or my step-daughter, but just him showing up here made my heart giddy ๐Ÿ™‚ This man is my favourite, my bestest, my heart, and my smile. And to make things even more sappy, I came home from work on Tuesday to him decorating my apartment with Christmas lights and garland – as he put it, maybe I would feel more at home and cheery looking at holiday decorations this next week.

7 6Best friends listen. They absorb, and they respond. He’s not perfect. And he can definitely be a wee bit of a jerk every now and again, but as I told him, he’s the most wonderful husband because everything he did for me this week was everything I needed from anybody as of late, and he was the one to respond. He always is. And I always will for him.

3 4 8 dec2014Happy Days to all of you, always!

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

Holiday Blues


To You,

It’s of no surprise to anyone who has held a conversation for more than 5 minutes in their complete time of interacting with me that I miss my husband-face quite a bit. We have been married for almost 10 months now, and I’ve seen him less than a handful of times, and although I try my best not to dwell, I also don’t know how to deal with being apart throughout the near entirety of a 3 and a half year long relationship. I also have no one to relate to in the topic of the anxiety of trying to build a trusting relationship with my now step-daughter from afar as well.

It’s hard not to dwell on being away from my family during the holidays, the time where everyone else around you is planning time spent with their loved ones, discussing gift ideas for their family members… need I say more? I am happy to be able to spend some down time with my mum and sister, but in my three years plus of being with my now husband, my then boyfriend and fiancรฉ, I have never spent Christmas with him and this year would have been amazing to spend at least Boxing Day with him and my other family members through to the New Year’s. We have always managed to spend New Year’s Eve together, creating a tradition of going snowboarding on New Year’s Day, and this year our one holiday tradition is a no-can-do due to immigration difficulties in me crossing the border whilst awaiting an immigration visa.

I miss this boy. More than I can explain because the minute I do, there’s no going back. He’s my bestfriend, my go-to person, my confident, and my most trusted. He makes me laugh when nothing else can, he gives me butterflies just with the thought of getting to Skype with him when the time allows it with our opposing schedules. He’s able to be the honest, blunt asshole in defending me when people have wronged me and I’m too naive to admit it, and he somehow supplies comfort when I need it through the means of online communication. He’s my guy.

He’s my bestfriend who I promise to not see upcoming blockbusters until we can see them together (yes, we both held out for Dark Knight Rises.. that’s commitment, man); we have a joint Pinterest board for us to pin hilarious online finds in the hopes of cheering each other up when needed. He’s my brilliant husband who complains at the fact that he doesn’t have a wedding band yet to wear proudly. So what’s a girl to do? Well, this year I’ve volunteered to work the extra shifts on Christmas Eve, Boxing Day, and New Year’s Eve knowing that if I’m going to be without my husband over the holidays, I may as well make money while doing it!

Peace & love,

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo

Canadian Thanksgiving in the Good Ol’ US of A


I spent my Canadian Thanksgiving this year with my husband and step-daughter in Indiana, something of which we have never celebrated together, and of course, something that bewildered my 7-year-old American step-daughter. Although for the first portion of the weekend she would refer to it as “Thanksgiving” while explicitly demonstrating strongly accented quotation marks with her little fingers when using the term, by the end of the weekend she was excited to confuse her classmates the next day with Thanksgiving leftovers and homemade apple pie (win for Canada). It was a beautiful weekend starting out with watching her last soccer game of the season, and then heading to the apple orchard to stock up on pie-worthy apples and apple cider and prepping for our feast the following day. I’m lucky to have married an amazing chef of a husband (I use the term lucky, but let’s face it – good cooking skills were a part of the marrying criteria), and he assisted me in cooking a beautiful organic chicken (no turkeys to be found this time of year) with an apple brandy basting mix (amazing recipe found here )

xo

IndyOct2014-21_small IndyOct2014-6_small IndyOct2014-2_small Thanksgiving2014_1_web Thanksgiving2014_5_web Thanksgiving2014_6_web Thanksgiving2014_11_web Thanksgiving2014_12_web

My husband’s lovely neighbours caught wind of us celebrating my national holiday, and brought us over this deliciously plated greetings!Thanksgiving2014_7_web Thanksgiving2014_18_web Thanksgiving2014_17_web Thanksgiving2014_19_web Thanksgiving2014_14_web Thanksgiving2014_15_web Thanksgiving2014_23_web Thanksgiving2014_26_web

There Can Always be One More Day


To You,

I have just returned from my latest visit to my husband and step-daughter in Indiana. And although I will give a more appreciative recollection of my travels in a later post, right now I am rather frustrated with the ongoing obstacles of immigration and lack of clarity amongst those who call these trips ‘holidays’.

Before I continue, I will clearly state that Yes, I do understand the process of immigration, and comprehend the wait times, extreme precautions they administer, and the overall scheduling of these required steps in order to verify that any immigrant be admitted legally into the United States.

Now, that being said, I will state what may have been obvious to many, but not diligently expressed to myself or my husband throughout the beginning stages of this process:

On October 8th, I entered U.S Customs at the Pearson Toronto Airport at 4:30AM prior to going through security to await the boarding of my flight south. Unfortunately I was pulled into their interrogation quarters and learned that this will be my last visit to the United States until I officially receive my visa in the many months to come. I was nearly denied entry on this trip, and was firmly warned that once I had received my application receipt in May 2014, that that was silent notification that as a traveler with the ‘intent to immigrate’ I was officially inadmissible to the U.S until my visa is issued to me.

People constantly comment on my trips to see my husband and step-daughter as to how 6 days is a long visit, much longer than the last; they call these trips holidays, or vacations, and time-off. I could have extended my original travel dates by one extra day, which is considered no big deal adding an extra day to my ‘holidays’. But my frustration and anger at the moment is directed to the improper notions that my time with my husband is a ‘vacation’, ‘time off’. No, my time with my husband is time, quality time. I never take sufficient time to see my family due to work conflicts, working around other people’s schedules, and guilt that I have more time off than others (which is untrue since I work 6 days per week every week). I am frustrated at the notion that people do not understand that I work here, and my travels to Indiana are me going home, for 3 days, 5 days, or the luxurious extent of 6 days. This trip could have been extended for one more day, but post-booking a work change occurred and I was no longer needed at work on a certain date, and so would be coming home a day before I actually needed to be back, something that would have gratefully given me one extra day at no cost. Instead, me being a little nuts for my husband, a few hours before my departure flight back to Toronto I made the decision to book another flight the next day to give me one more night and morning with my husband.

All I’ve ever wanted with my husband and his daughter is time. That’s it. We don’t vacation, or go on holidays. This trip, I went to her soccer game. We all cooked Canadian Thanksgiving together. I helped my step-daughter with her cursive writing. I fell asleep next to my husband, and we drank coffee in bed the next morning. I drove him to work, and did his laundry because when I’m bored I clean. I rearranged his apartment some of which to his disliking, but like I said, I clean when I’m bored. We visited with his family and we went grocery shopping. I was not on holiday, I was at home. And to those of you who state how 6-days is a long time: You try it and you tell me that this is a long time at home. Tell me over the next few years how a few days every few months is sufficient. Tell me how you would feel if all of a sudden you had no idea when you would next see your family, because after this visit of 6 whole days you would be inadmissible to visit for months to come.

6 days is not a long time. However, yes we make it the most quality time possible of which includes arguments, fighting, loving, laughing, hugging, sitting, eating, joking, driving, and just being.

But do not – DO NOT tell me my ‘vacation’ to see my husband was a long one, because I’m typing now after a day of holding back tears, my heart and stomach wrenching with ache and my head unable to translate my fury over others’ misinterpretation of my time with my husband and family. It’s time, the most wonderful and beautiful version of time that I am now inadmissible from holding for an undetermined amount of government appointed time.

I could have had one more day. There can always be one more day, but instead there officially is not until I receive my visa.

IndyOct2014-17_smallPowering through,

Love from, Vic Louise xoxoxo